Advice columnist Carolyn Hax: You want individual circumstances, not societal expectations, to determine everything from who buys dinner to who becomes primary breadwinner or caregiver. I thought gender roles and dating were right on in your answer to B. You were correct to suggest kindness. The rules are not gender-specific, but the rituals are. Who does most of the asking?

What do you gender roles and dating men do in christianity online dating to continue to be kind, but also not always be expected to pay? The only way any of us can change anything outside ourselves is to make changes inside. If you want women to pick up some checks, then date self-supporting, independent-minded women — or just date women who are givers, not takers, by nature.

If a woman continually sits on her hands while you pay, then stop seeing her. If those are the only women you ever find, then take a hard rolse at what you find attractive and off-putting in women. Ultimately, your own taste in women will have far more say gender roles and dating your rituals and romances than society ever will. If you want gwnder to do the asking, then make yourself accessible — easy to talk rlles, slow to judge, receptive to invitations and faultlessly immune to gender-baiting.

If you think diamonds are archaic, then look around you. Men have to ask! Women have to wonder what men want from them — love or sex? Men foot the bill for diamonds! Women foot the bill for weddings. Men do all the work during courtship! Men gender roles and dating to be breadwinners, with all the pressure that entails! Women have to depend on someone else to support them, with all the vulnerability that entails. Capital-T Tradition doled out plenty of crud sandwiches for each side.

Certainly a lot of these totems are already falling or fallen. Still, anyone invested in further liberation from gender-based expectations would be served best by treating the opposite sex not as the enemy but an ally. Challenge and purge your biases in dzting areas, not just in dating, and value others who do the same. The opinions expressed in reader comments are those of the author only, and do not reflect the opinions of The Seattle Times.

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The following is from March 12, Email Carolyn at tellme washpost. Find her columns daily at www. No personal attacks or insults, ajd hate speech, no profanity. Please keep the conversation civil and help us moderate this thread by reporting any gneder. See our Commenting FAQ. Powered by Livefyre Datihg opinions expressed in reader comments are those of the author only, and do not reflect the opinions of The Seattle Times. Please consider upgrading your browser to receive our intended user experience.

Should men always pay for dinner? The surprising contradictions of dating in the modern age

As women, we need to stop emasculating our men and start empowering them to be…men! You first have to register here, then click on this link and join okchat. Article Roundup , Dating 2. No one takes the time to get to know someone anymore to see if that first date would even be worth it. Yeah I like the ring of that.