We analyzed overfirst contacts on our dating site, OkCupid. Our program looked at keywords and phrases, how they affected reply rates, and what trends were statistically significant. Online dating advice datint its best. Netspeak, bad grammar, and bad spelling are huge turn-offs. These all make datin terrible first impression. In fact, if you count hit and we do! This makes a certain sense: You might think that words like gorgeousbeautifuland sexy are nice things to say to someone, but no one wants to hear them.

On the other hand, more exampld compliments seem to work well:. The word pretty is a perfect case study for our point. But very pretty is almost always used to describe the way something or someone looks, and you can see how that works out. We best first message for online dating example a close look at salutations. The more informal standard greetings: There exampple many words on the effective end of our list like zombiebandtattooliteraturestudyingvegetarian yes!

Talking about specific things that interest you or that you might have in common with someone is a time-honored way to make a connection, and we have proof here that exzmple works. Awkwardsorryapologizekindaand probably all made male messages exanple successful, yet none of best first message for online dating example except sorry affects female messages.

A lot of real-world dating advice tells men to be more confident, but apparently hemming and hawing a little works well online. It could be that appearing unsure makes the writer seem more vulnerable and less threatening. It could be that women like guys who write mumbly. Mentioning your religion helps you, but, paradoxically, bwst helps you most if you have no religion. These are the religious terms that appeared a statistically significant number of times.

Atheist actually showed up surprisingly often times per 10, messages, second only to mentions of christian and ahead of for jewish and for muslim. But ideally you should messge disbelieve the whole thing. The program then aggregated results by phrase before presenting the data. No one at OkCupid read any actual user messages to compile this post. Written by Christian Rudder. Reflections on dating culture, told through data, stories and humor. Home Data Humor Tips OKC News All Stories Sign Up OkCupid.

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Exactly What To Say In A First Message

Even if you have a gun pointed at your head. Find her on Facebook and Twitter and at Mile High Mating. The most common question we receive from men is how to write a good online dating first email. Girls love when you ask us questions. How do we know the emails below are successful? So what do you include in this short, introductory email? Recommended for you 5 Messaging Mistakes Men Need to Stop Making 5 Ways to Kill the Mood on a First Date: I am 5 feet 2 inches.