Perhaps the best advice you can give someone about having a relationship with a married man is telling her not to even start. However, that may not be practical for all women. The love of your life just might be a married man. Being part of any couple can be challenging and unpredictable, as we all know. But when the man with whom you're involved is part of another couple, someone else's husband, then the challenge and unpredictability can make your life a messy, unhappy waiting game that you will rarely win.

The woman who is in love with a married man lives a life that, for the most part, is shrouded in secrecy. Her close circle of friends might know about her affair, but she really huffington post dating a married man let anyone else, such as colleagues or her family, know. She is alone most of the time and spends it waiting: She is not his wife, she is not mother to his children, she is not his parents' daughter-in-law.

Her chance for happiness hinges on a future that is highly uncertain, to say the least. Your own survival is crucial, and if you do happen to fall in love with a married man, there are several hard truths you need to know. The needs of the many namely, his family will always outweigh your needs. His family will always come first, and that includes his wife. Simply because he talks in a negative way about his marriage doesn't mean that his obligations to his wife are any less important to him.

Whether or not they have children is a moot point; he will always feel as if he has to be a husband to her and take care of the marriage, whether he truly loves her or not. Their life together includes friendships and a social network that is shared and comfortable for him. He won't risk losing that. His life with you is secret and always will be.

No matter how much you may want to walk in the sunshine with him and have him openly acknowledge his love for you, it won't happen. While he is more huffington post dating a married man willing to be your lover and to bring you gifts, he is not about to have you meet his friends and risk having his family find out about you. No matter how nice a guy he is, you are a temporary diversion for him. This is not an easy statement to comprehend. Unfortunately it is true.

The beginning of an affair is huffington post dating a married man and naughty at the same time. Planning to be together becomes a fascinating game and is thrilling to say the least. Stealing hours from work or home to have sex is exciting, and you may mistake his libido-driven passion for undying love. The game soon becomes a chore for him, and romantic interludes are just one more thing he "has to do.

He will not leave his wife. Less than 5 percent of men leave their wives for the woman with whom they are having an affair. Whether it is because of all the legal and financial problems attached to divorce, religious beliefs or the fact that they have become comfortable huffington post dating a married man their marriage the way it is -- or even because they still have a certain affection for their wives, men rarely end up with the other woman.

Even Katharine Hepburn knew, and accepted, this fact during her long affair with Spencer Tracy. And don't ever kid yourself on this important point: He is still having sex with his wife, no matter what you may want to believe. Legally, financially and emotionally, you have no claim. You may realize that you have no claim legally or financially, but you would think there'd be an emotional attachment or bond between you and your lover.

In fact there usually isn't after the affair is over. Even though he has a deep feeling of love for you, he is able to process it in an unemotional way. He's not a bad guy, he may be a wonderfully kind person, but he is also a practical one. He knows that holding on to emotions that can only cause problems for his family is something he cannot and will not do.

When it's over, he will move on. To safeguard yourself from too much emotional pain, you need to understand that he can only be a small part of your life and will never be more than that no matter how many promises are made. You need to have a life that works and that is full enough to withstand the pain of the eventual breakup. He has one and you need one, too. A solid circle of friends and a social life separate from your hidden life with him is a necessity.

Let your friends know that you still want to go out with them regularly. Don't always be so ready to cancel plans you have made with others to accommodate him. Casual dating with male friends helps, too. It allows you to see yourself through the eyes of another man who finds you interesting and attractive. It is up to you where it might lead. It helps to remember that the man with whom you are intimately involved in "your other life" is not living as a monk with his wife.

Being involved in an affair with someone else's husband is an almost surefire trip from ecstatic highs at the beginning to a depressing abyss at the end. Understand the basics of exactly what you are getting into, and what your status is. You need to step back and identify the priorities -- your priorities -- in a relationship with a married man. Think with your head and not with your heart. Ensuring you have a life distinct from his that is your safe haven huffington post dating a married man make being the other woman, if not a secure, permanent position, at least one that is a bit more tolerable.

Kristen Houghton is the author of the hilarious new book, No Woman Diets Alone - There's Always a Man Behind Her Eating a Doughnut in the top 10 hot new releases at Amazon available now on Kindle, Nook, and all e-book venues. Her self-help book " And Then I'll Be Happy! Stop Sabotaging Your Happiness and Put Your Own Life First " is ranked in the top books by Tower Books.

You may email her at kch kristenhoughton. Tap here to turn on desktop notifications to get the news sent straight to you. Huffington post dating a married man Highline Science Education Weird News Business TestKitchen Tech Huffington post dating a married man Media. POLITICS Pollster Heroin Epidemic Donald Trump Racial Inequality US Senate Election Results HuffPost Hill Police Brutality Hate Crimes Supreme Court Congress So That Happened.

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Fantasia Barrino: How to Date a Married Man

Do you not believe you're worthy of happiness? Wanrning email said i have till what date to print on the label which is a a post favourite. Think about your son and the humiliation he stands to suffer if things go south. Having joined, everyone is free to reply to messages from premium members, but they cannot go too far, she has refused because she would. I would never encourage a friend to get involved with a married man because adultery is high on my list of things I hate most. Phone calls after a bad day at work? Many women believe that married men are generally mature and more experienced in relationships than single men. She is not his wife, she is not mother to his children, she is not his parents' daughter-in-law. Related Articles About Dating Older Women Reasons Why Men Leave Women They Love The Advantages of Dating Older Women 8 Things That Make Women Crave Sex How to Be a Woman Worth Pursuing.